pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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