It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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