wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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