They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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