wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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