would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I love having hate sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
