i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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