Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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