He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
