did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
