i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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