Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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