feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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