last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
