also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
