AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
