During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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