i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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