I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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