hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
