...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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