I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
