Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
