woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
