Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
