I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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