no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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