Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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