Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
