8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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