I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
