the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
