I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
