just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
