is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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