No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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