I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you made out with another girl for some wings
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
