so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
