I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
