Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
