he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
pray to the hookup gods
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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