you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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