What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize