Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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