Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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