I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
