We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
how does that bad decision feel?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
