You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
