I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
