Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She needs sedatives and a leash
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
